4 Essential Skills to Starting Relationships with Strangers

The common factor of any relationship, even ones that you are intentionally using the Law of Attraction to bring into your life, is that you start by meeting strangers.

Answer.com defines stranger as "1. One who is neither a friend nor an acquaintance."

Obvious point to think about, at one time every friend, co-worker, buddy, chum, lover, boy/girlfriend, etc. was a stranger. This article focuses on 4 essential skills to starting relationships with strangers. Whether these relationships develop further is another issue.

Many of us grew-up with someone, parents, teachers, police, etc. telling us "don't talk to strangers." This admonition seems appropriate for use with children who are vulnerable and susceptible to the wiles and deceit of malicious adults. But we were never told "Until you grow-up and learn to tell good people from bad, 'don't talk to strangers.'" Many of us still have this thought buried inside and not know it's still affecting us meeting new people. By practicing these essential skills, you can learn to meet strangers easily.

Many of us, and at times I too, find it difficult to start a conversation with strangers. Whether it's feelings of inferiority, being out of our comfort zone, at a gathering where everyone else seems to know everyone else, at times meeting people seems intimidating and frightening.

I believe these essential skills make it easier for me to meet strangers. Over the years, I've built up my confidence in using these skills. This confidence has raised my vibrations so that I meet strangers that are more open to me. By attracting more strangers that match my vibrations, I get closer to meeting the ideal people of my desires.

1. Smile
Smiling does wonders for breaking the ice. Think about when someone you know smiles at you. How to you feel? Pretty good. Now, what about when you see others smiling. You sense their happiness and joy. Check out this project at SmileMyDay.com and see how smiles make you feel. (BTW, I just attracted this site to come into my experience by writing this post.)

Smiling is a major principle in How to Win Friend and Influence People. If a chapter is devoted to smiling in one of the classics of personal development, it's got to be important.

Practice smiling. Your smile can be an all teeth, ear-to-ear grin, or just turned-up corners of you mouth like the Mona Lisa. Practice your smile. Whether you look in a mirror and try different smiles or just practice the feeling of your smile, practice. It helps you feel good. When you feel good you, you project good vibrations and therefore attract more good into your life. (It seems to be a recurring theme: raise vibrations, attract more good.)

What I think is most important is the feeling you have while smiling. Be genuine, have a real smile, let that emotion flow through you. By practicing the smile in front of the mirror you can see how you look to others. Keep in mind, you want a real smile. Fake smiles can be detected by others and you even know when you fake your smile. So be genuine.


2. Eye Contact "The eyes are the windows to the soul."
In American society, where I'm from, eye-contact is important. I'm not talking about a staring contest. (I save that for my son.) Nor am I talking about the intimidating stare of a bully. I'm talking about an open, kind feeling in your heart that puts a twinkle in your eye.

One of the first people you should be looking at in the eye is yourself. Spend sometime looking in a mirror. If this is new for you, other than brushing your hair, be gentle with yourself. Looking yourself in the eye, is like looking your best friend in the eye. In fact, relationship experts say you should have the best relationship with yourself so you can have great relationships with others.

Looking at myself in the mirror is where I do some of my best affirmation work. Here is where I do some of my best pep talk work. Mirrors allow me to see myself better. I can get in tune with myself more fully. By practicing looking myself in the eye, I feel more comfortable looking others in the eye.


3. Say Hello
It's simple, it's easy and is the first step in starting a conversation. If you are as shy and timid as a rabbit, practice this on the grocery clerk or a check-out person. Along with the smile, eye contact and "Hello" you are off to a great beginning in starting a conversation with your next new friend.

If at first you are still a bit shy, maybe nod your head in a greeting of hello. 90% of communication is done non-verbally. Just looking at someone and nodding, is a big improvement for some and a good step towards meeting new friends.

4. Make a compliment
This is the beginnings of a real conversation. Everyone likes to hear something nice about themselves, even if it's something about their choices such as the book they are reading, the shoes they are wearing, how artistic they've made their name tag, etc. Another chapter in How to Win Friend and Influence People was devoted to complimenting others.

Think about how you feel when someone compliments you. When someone compliments me, or my tie, or my shirt, or how well I dressed that day, I feel good. That's what you want to do for others, have them feel good. When someone feels good because of your compliment, then they are more likely to say something back to you. Even if it is a "Thank you", you've had a conversation with a stranger. Celebrate that success.


What does all this have to do with the Law of Attraction?

As mentioned earlier in this post, as you are developing these skills, you are raising your vibrations about how you feel about yourself. You are also raising your vibrations about how you feel about other people and your comfort level in meeting others. When you attract someone you desire into your life, then you have developed the skills to inroduce yourself the next time you have that intuitive desire to walk up to a stranger and start a conversation.


By practicing one skill and then another and another you are building the essential skills to starting relationships with strangers. It's these strangers that will become your new business partners, friends, lovers, etc. These 4 essential skills are simple and easy to develop. By working on these skills, like I have done, even simple interactions with grocery store clerks, other customer's in line, etc. you'll begin to feel better about yourself, more likable and desirable because people have smiled back at you, said "Hello" to you and even talked with you for however brief a time. When you walk away from a simple and pleasant interaction, you will feel good about that interaction and yourself. You are raising your vibrations and attracting more good interactions with people and the relationships you desire will come into your life.

Suggested reading:

How to Win Friend and Influence People

Related Posts:

Three Important Success Tips with the Law of Attraction

I'm looking forward to getting unclothed

How to Be a Law of Attraction Expert Instantly

Ready for the short, sweet and absolute answer in becomming an expert using the Law of Attraction...

Acknowledge that: YOU ALREADY ARE!

Simple as that.

I'm not sure why I'm willing to state the obvious, I guess it's because I'm human.

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continuously stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?

--The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Law of Attraction is a simple concept, "like attracts like". When I'm thinking good thoughts and being happy, I'm putting off that vibration. I attract good things to happen to me. When I'm thinking negative thoughts and feeling bad, I'm putting off that vibration. Therefore I attract negative events into my life.

Here's some examples. I usually have a great day at work and even wrote Attracting an enjoyable work day. Last month I had a much different experience with my work day. I have to take full responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and actions. When I dress up and look good, I get more smiles and I catch more heads turning my direction. When I dress down, even when I'm smilling, I'm not putting out the best vibes, but I get some pleasant head nods but no heads turn.

Michael Losier's recent eZine Law of Attraction article is entitled It's OK to Point and Say, "That's Here Because of Me!" This article is about observing what happens in our lives and acknowleging that we are the reason this event occured. He talks about how it's important that when we acknowledge what we attract into our lives, we reinforce our belief in our ability to attract. We should even celebrate that which comes into our lives, because "Celebrating now always brings more to celebrate about!"

Whether good or bad, it's good to accept our role in attracting events, people and things into our lives.

By accepting our role in the Law of Attraction, we then have to realize we are already experts at attraction. From now on, what we need to learn is how to attract more of what we want and less of what we don't want.

Now look in a mirror, look yourself in the eye and say confidently "I am an expert with the Law of Attraction. I manifest all the people, events and things I experience in my life. Now I'm learning how to attract more of what I want and less of what I don't want."

Sunday Morning Video: Matthieu Ricard - The World's Happiest Man

I found this video on TED.com.

The introduction of this video from ted.com:

What is happiness, and how can we all get some? Buddhist monk, photographer and author Matthieu Ricard has devoted his life to these questions, and his answer is influenced by his faith as well as by his scientific turn of mind: We can train our minds in habits of happiness. Interwoven with his talk are stunning photographs of the Himalayas and of his spiritual community.

Related links:

A post at Monk At Work entitled Secrets Of The World's Happiest Man.

Wikipedia of the Happiest Man on Earth.

Matthieu Ricard's book Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill

Law of Attraction Carnival #28

The 28th edition of the Law of Attraction Blog Carnival is up and available for your reading pleasure. This edition is hosted by Ellie Walsh at Living the Law of Attraction


The theme for the next edition, Law of Attraction Blog Carnival #29 is:
"Relationships - How to use the Law of Attraction to create, maintain, improve relationships."

Submissions deadline is March 4, 2008 and publish date is Thursday March 6, 2008.

You can make you submissions for the next edition here.

Ok, I'll bite.

Photo by: Amy Kilroy

Well, I've seen this a couple of times and so I thought "if I keep seeing this in different blogs over the past couple of weeks, I might as well check it out."

So, I'll take a crack at it. Besides, what's it going to cost? Nothing.

I just need to post the following to receive the free course.

I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

• The best blogging techniques.
• How to get traffic to your blog.
• How to turn your blog into money.

I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free.

Well, now that's done.

The Happiness Project

Alex Shalman has put together The Happiness Project. He interviewed numerous notable bloggers and asked them the same questions. He's posting one or two interviews each day during February and you can see the interviews here.

He's also put the questions out to other bloggers to write their responses on their blogs, so here I am.

The Questions

How do you define happiness?

For me, happiness is when I'm in a good mood, got a smile on my face, feel calm, relaxed and generally feeling good. I don't have to be bouncing off the walls deleriously giddy, although that can be fun at times.


On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your happiness now, versus when you were a child?

I'd say my happiness now is about the same as when I was a child, an 8. Although I've had times in my adult life when my happiness peaked at 10, it has also been significantly lower, say 4,3 or 2, today, I'm happy.

What is making my life happy now, is that I can see clearly my goals and objectives and I know I'm making progress. That's the key, making progress. It's the journey I enjoy.

What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness? (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day)

I remember to be happy.

I work in a call center doing technical support for a major cable company and it can be easy to take on customer's problems or to accept their complaining personally. That is a major energy drain. Fortunately, I've learned to pay attention to my internal thoughts and feelings and practice choosing to be happy.

The consistancy is definately improving. The more I practice the techniques and tips I learn, the more effective they become. I terms of Law of Attraction, "like attracts like". The Observation Cycle: The more I think about being happy, the more I feel happy, the more I feel happy, the more I see happy things, the more I feel happy, etc.


What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?

Well, I'm alergic to negative people. :) I walk away. I avoid them. I think happier thoughts. I let their complaining roll off me. I email them instead of talk in person or on the phone with them.


What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?

Pretty much doing what I'm doing now. By seeing what has improved in the short time I've taking on learning about happiness, and the improvement in my life, I can only keep learning more about happiness and practice what I've learned. See The Observation Cycle.


Leave a comment and tell me: What makes you happy?

Return of the Law of Attraction Carnival

Photo by: Wylie Maercklein


It's comming back!

The Law of Attraction Carnival is making a return.

Ed Mills of Evolving Times has graciously handed the care and feeding of The Law of Attraction Carnival over to Ellie Walsh of Living the Law of Attraction and myself, Dean of Law of Attraction for Beginners.

The next issue will be #28. Submission deadline is February 19th and publish date is Thursday February 21st. Theme for this next edition is Attracting New Relationships - friends, romance, work, etc.

Ellie and I are really excited to be given this opportunity to continue a great resource for Law of Attraction. Please join us in the return of the Law of Attraction carnival.

Find out more about the Law of Attraction carnival.

Abraham Hicks Feb 3, 2008

Here is a series of videos from Abraham-Hicks about the Law of Attraction.

Taken from the video as an introduction:

"Recorded February 3, 2008 During An Abraham-Hicks Law of Attration Workshop.

Ester Hicks translates blocks of thought from non-physical source energy using the name "Abraham"

For more information on the teachings of Abraham Please visit the website www.abraham-hicks.com"

The videos are imbeded, I've also included hyperlinks for the word "Part #" that will take you to You Tube so you can watch there.


The Law of Attraction Part 1




The Law of Attraction Part 2




The Law of Attraction Part 3




The Law of Attraction Part 4




The Law of Attraction Part 5

Review: "Happy for No Reason" by Marci Shimoff

I picked up this book recently, mostly because it was just released in January and I caught wind of the promotions for this book. Although I've been a practicioner of the Law of Attraction and write this blog, I never gave much thought to learning how to raise my Happiness. Until recently I never came across anything substantial regarding happiness, other than, "do what makes you happy." Not that I didn't need nor want happiness. I was just comfortable with where I was and felt a general sense of happiness. Well, in retrospect, maybe it was contentedness.

The book is authored by Marci Schimoff with Carol Kline. Marci is the coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul and briefly featured in the movie The Secret.

This is the first book I've read devoted to the emotion and psychology of Happiness. With little surprise, since I started reading this book, I've been exposed to many resources, blog postings, studies, videos and references to Happiness. Some of which can be found at the end of this post.

Having interviewed 100 people she calls The Happy 100, this book is filled with numerous examples of what people do for happiness. These stories are filled with examples of how people have transformed their lives, not through money and things, but learning to live a life of happiness.

This book also provides scientific studies and research done on the emotion and psychology of Happiness. I tend to like scientific documentation and support of claims that someone makes. Don't get the wrong idea, I find the actual scientific reports to be less than interesting. I do like to have someone else trudge through the scientific research and translate into common English. Marci Shimoff did just that very well.

This is an easy and enjoyable book to read. Marci uses an extended metaphor of building a house as our house of happiness. Starting with a foundation, the framework, roof and finally the outside garden. Each chapter gives a woven blend of scientific studies and research, Marci shares her personal history and stories from The Happy 100 give real world examples of people with little to no happiness and how to develop greater happiness. Also in each chapter are exercises we can incorporate into our lives to raise our happiness.

Some of the best things I learned in this book:

- Just reading and learning about happiness, raises one's happiness.

- Others have challenges and hard times. By learning HOW to be happy, we can live a more fulfilling life.

- Happy people live longer.

- Happy people have better relationships.

- Happy people make more money.

- Happy people are healthier.

- Happy people are, well, happier.

I recommend reading Happy for No Reason.



Other posts you will enjoy about happiness:

Check out The Happiness Project at AlexShalman.com

You can find The Hidden Truth About Happiness at 7P Productions


A 22 minute video of Daniel Gilbert, a scientist who studies happiness.





Like this post? Leave a comment. Thank you.

"Prosperity Seed Game" from Creation Thoughts

I was just poping around reading some blogs this morning and I found this post Planting Seeds of Prosperity by Wendy on her blog Creation Thoughts.

Now I just love playing games. Card, Board, Computer, Role-Playing, even Law of Attraction games. This seemed like a fun game so I wanted to share this with you.

In reading this post I thought about all the wonderful feelings when I found money in a jacket pocket or being used as a bookmark in something I read months ago, etc. Now I know more about adding the emotion of gratfulness and excitement to events, I'm looking forward to doing this game.

I'm going to plant the money where I'll find it in a few months. For instance, putting it in the pockets of shorts I'll be wearing in Spring or Summer. Wrapping it in a beach or swim towel. Putting a bill in the glovebox with my registration, so it'll be found when I next register the car.

Hmmm, now where else can I plant some money? :)


Related posts:

Seed Money: So money does grow on trees

Waking Up Without An Alarm Clock

Photo by Victoria G

I woke up yesterday morning with the thought to write a post about waking up without an alarm clock. But I allowed my day to take me in different directions and didn't get to it...until now. Which happened to be after I was Stumbling and came across this post at Pick The Brain.

I've been waking up without an alarm clock for about two years. At the time I'd been comming across information about how we can condition ourselves by programming our subconsciousness just before going to sleep. I also heard about Lucid Dreaming, although I didn't spend much energy looking into it, I got the jest of it.

Additionally, I was always pretty good with time. I could tell the time by looking at the sun in the sky, within about 5-10 minutes. Indoors I could tell you within 10-15 minutes what time it is, without looking at a watch. In fact, throughout my entire life, I hardly ever wore a watch. I am and always have been very punctual. I respect other people's time and I'm sad to say I have little patient for people who are late, tardy and otherwise disrepectful of other's time.

So, I decided that I would try to wake up without an alarm clock. Besides, the "BLAAH, BLAAH, BLAAH" of the alarm buzzing was a bit of a jolt in the morning. For a time I used the radio wake me up, then I thought about what could be placed in my head while in that place between sleep and wakefullness. So, waking up with my own internal clock was something I would work on.

Here is how I started and developed my practice of waking without an alarm clock.

* No drugs or alcohol: I'm not being judgemental nor an anti-substance use commentator, it's just a fact that they effect you mentally and physically which can effect your ability to do this, or any other skill development. Besides when I had a couple of drinks before bed and tried this, I didn't wake as well as I did without the drinks...but who does!

* Physical preparation: I would spend 5-10 minutes doing some stretching to loosen up before going to bed. When I got into bed I'd lay comfortablly on my back, with my arms at my sides and hands on my belly. I'd do diaphragmatic breathing. ( Simple explaination, Wikipedia, Swamij.com )

* Mental preparation: When Diapragmaticly Breathing I'd think the following thoughts (affirmations) or other variations of:

I am relaxed and comfortable.
I sleep well.
I have a restful and relaxing night.
I awaken in the morning at 6:00 am (or whatever time you want) feeling relaxed and refreshed, ready to start my day.
I am looking forward to a great day.

* Visualization: See yourself waking up at 5:59 am. Fully awake, sitting up, looking at the clock and turning off the alarm switch since you are up and ready to begin your day.

Once in bed, the breathing, mental affirmtions and visualizations would take about 5-10 minutes before I'd be off in la-la-land. It does take some practice. Within a week, you'll be falling asleep in about 10 minutes. You'll be sleeping deeper and more relaxed.

Meditating before going to bed helps tremendously. If you already meditate before going to bed, you know how this improves your sleep.

* Variations: Where I live now, there are lots of trees and when Spring is here, the birds are back and their young are born and their early morning chirps, whistles and caws are a great natural sound to wake-up with. I include in my thoughts before slumber "I awaken to the beautiful sounds of nature waking up at sunrise."

Once I got use to waking up before the alarm would go off. I'd start to program myself to wake up earlier on my own 5, 10, 15 minutes before the alarm was set. I eventually stopped turning on the alarm. I do always wake up in time to get me (and when they are with me, my children) up and out the door. 99.9% of the time, I'm early or on-time for work, including breakfast, making lunch and transporation to school and work. Admittedly it's a bit more rushed on these days, but we make it.

I started to expand my thoughts during my sleep preparations. I figure if I can manifest things and situations to work in my favor, then I'll include my children. I've been adding thoughts and saying affirmations about my children sleeping better and waking easier in the morning. In the mornings I ask them how they slept they last night. They tell me good. The past couple of times, even told me, without me prompting this particular response, they sleep better in my home then elsewhere.

If you are looking to have a good day, it starts with a good night's sleep and the intention to have a good day. Let the first thing you hear in the morning be the sound of birds chirpping, the call of nature waking you up, your own dreams whispering in your ear to wake-up, not the "BLAAH, BLAAH, BLAAH" of an alarm clock.